Feeling scared and sad can be very depressing...

I cried twice last night. I just read a happy news. I do not have ill will against others, so how come I feel sad?

I cannot commit on my diet, I cannot even pray the rosary consistently everyday. I was not able to fulfill a promise of Wednesdays, my Sundays are even occupied I cannot talk to Him.

Maybe he has a reason to deny me that blessing after all.